Question I've always had...

After watching Back to School and Weekend and Bernie's today (life is hard), I had an important question:
Why was "Dead Man's Party" by Oingo Boing used in Back to School and not Weekend at Bernie's?
There was a party at a dead man's house in the fucking movie...

I'm a published writer!

I sent in a letter to MRR about Minneapolis band In Defence and their anti-pizza stance a few months ago, and it was actually published in issue #307.

Ball's in your court now Ben Defence!


Ain't I a stinker...

Ramen Noodles

Being as I've been unemployed for the past few months, I've fully embraced the lifestyle. I've been going to the local library pretty regularly, and eating a lot of Ramen Noodles (8/$1.00!!!). I've taken the liberty of suggesting a new recipe, since the one on the back of the packaging is totally wrong. The most glaring problem being "serve immediately for best results."


1. Boil 2 cups of water (that's the only thing they did right). For god's sake don't add any salt to make it boil faster.

2. Once the water is at a rolling boil, add the flavor packet. I recommend "oriental" or "beef." The packet should dissolve instantly.

3. Place brick of noodles in water without breaking them up. Let them sit in there and soak up the broth.

4. Once the noodles begin to soften, lower the heat, and unfold the noodles. You can see the difference in color, so make sure to stir it around.

5. Let the pot sit and cool for around 15 minutes. There should be little broth left, and the noodles should be brown colored.

I recommend putting the whole pot in a large bowl and eating it with a fork (or chop sticks if you're so inclined). Enjoy!

dumb thoughts

So while driving recently, I saw one of those big trucks carrying a long trailer. On this huge trailer was a weird gigantic metal cone-shaped object. I couldn't help but wonder if it was a major component in a device for a mad super villain. I could be the drill tip for some sort of machinery that would drill to the center of the earth. If only terrorists were more like James Bond villains...

This is the random crap that floats through my head on a daily basis. I kinda want to get a tape recorder to record my random thoughts, ala Norm MacDonald in Dirty Work.


I've got 2 more shows that I'm booking in the next few weeks. between finding places and bands, and going on numerous job interviews- I'm burned out.

Burritos: the perfect food

I'm lucky enough to work a few blocks away from a great authentic Mexican restaurant, which means I get to eat a burrito at least once a week. I never claimed to be the most health conscious person, but I'm pretty sure burritos are good for you. It more or less represents the entire food pyramid:



bread- tortilla shell, rice
vegetables- lettuce, tomatoes, salsa
meat/protein- beans, beef/ chicken/ pork/ etc... (depending what kind you get)
milk- cheese, sour cream
fruit- guacamole (avocados)
Plus depending how hot you get it, I'm sure you'll go through at least 2 glasses of water.

So that settles it, goodbye atkins diet, hello burrito diet!

Still a chance to live my dream

Ever since seeing the Back to the Future trilogy, I've always thought it would be awesome to one day own a Delorean. Not that I'm a car guy in any way, but they're just super awesome. I was watching a show on the History Channel last night, and they were talking about Deloreans. There's apparently a company in America somewhere that bought out all the unused parts from the old Delorean factory when it shut down. For $40,000, you can get a brand new Delorean, made from the original parts. No word yet if they have customizable features, where you can make it go back in time or fly. Regardless, I'd need a flux capacitor in the back seat.

New policy on junk mail

So if you're like me, I'm sure you get at least 3 credit card applications per week in the mail. I saw this on 60 Minutes (yea, why was I watching that?), that since they always send you postage paid envelopes, just send it back. I used to just tear it in half, then throw it in the recycling basket. It's so much more satisfying to fold it back into the envelope they gave, and have them foot the bill to get their own junk back. I even fold up the envelope they sent the original letter in. Make sure to tear off any info to avoid revenge from the credit card company, and have fun.

"Why? Cuz Fuck 'em"